Are you ok? I'm just checking in because I've coached A LOT of women this week around relationship conflict.
Being in conflict with your husband, wife or partner feels awful. Especially if the conflict is more of the same as before.
If that's you today, this is for you.
You are not the situation you are in.
Your thoughts and your situation are separate.
If you are upset and you think it’s because of the situation you are trapped.
The only way you can get your freedom is by being able to separate your thinking from the situation.
This will give you immediate clarity.
You can’t always change your situation, you can't change your husband, or your partner, the words she said or the actions he's taken.
But you can change the way you think.
Why should you?
Because when you fight with the situation, as Byron Katie would say, "you are in a fight you will never win."
Limiting beliefs are slippery little suckers. They seem so.....harmless.
I knew this would happen.
Just my luck.
Of course, it has.
These are not just sayings. These are limiting beliefs.
The belief is that there is some force outside of yourself, working against you. It limits you because you unconsciously believe you are unworthy of a result.
A result you want but won't get.
You are so not limited, you are limitless.
Social conditioning, trauma or your upbringing.
Many things may have contributed.
It doesn’t matter, we all have them, you just have to know how to clear them.
The force is within you. Not against you.
Before I started working with a coach I thought coaching was for rich Americans with loud voices, too much energy and first world problems.
I thought coaching was a super-luxury item that I would never dream of needing or having.
Not that I actually knew what a life coach did. I just didn't think one was for me. What would a chick from Shepparton do with a life coach?
"Just work it out on your own, dickhead."
This is how a country girl whose family has hit hard times would think. Battler mentality.
Work harder. Do more. Be grateful for what you get. Toughen up.
Work it our yourself.
Good strong Australian girl values, a belief system that reared a nation of hard-working, self-deprecating women.
This is the kind of belief system that held me back for the longest time. The kind of thinking I had no chance of changing on my own because I couldn't see it.
Limiting beliefs are the unchecked bank of thoughts that sit in the background running the show - or holding you back.
"Our relationship is stale."
It's very easy to make a statement like that.
Face it, who hasn't felt like their relationship has been more like week-old rye than a freshly baked baguette?
A relationship with a human, especially one you are close to, is neutral. It's not good or bad, and it's not fresh or stale.
A relationship with a human is made up of your thinking about that human. Nothing else.
The emotion - the freshness or the staleness comes from the way you think about that relationship.
The thought you have creates emotion. then the emotion occurs in your body as a feeling sensation. That feeling then directs your behaviour towards that person, affecting how you show up, act or behave. It affects what you do and don't do.
This combination of thought, emotion and behaviour creates the energetics of your relationship, the atmosphere of your relationship if you like.
Your thoughts, feeling and behaviours give you the result, the experience of your...