This week I seemed to spend a lot of time coaching around negativity.
None of us think of ourselves as a "negative" But negativity can be so subtle and so invasive it’s nearly invisible. But let me tell you, it can really define the person you are, how you occur to people around you.
Being around negativity is totally draining.
I used to run events and I had a Production Manager who was amazing to work with. I was the creative and he was logistics - so we came from different backgrounds. I would say - "do you think we can get the lights up thoses 6 palm trees?" or " is it possible to move that stage to the other end of the park this week?" And he was never, ever, a NO.
The first thing he did was to consider the how, he would ask his brain the question, how could this happen - and so consequently his brain would go off to look and always find the the answer to "how can this happen?"
He was awesome to work with and we had a great productive inspiring working relationship. I could ask him anything, it created a lot of possibility for our projects, and our projects where always really successful.
So what kind of person are you? Who are you to be around?
Think a minute before you answer that too by the way :)
The first place to look is do you draw an invisible line around yourself?
I don’t like that.
I can’t do that.
That's not me.
I won’t do that.
Or do you to separate yourself from other people or situations by defining them as negative?
She annoys me.
He shouldnt do that.
She's such a downer.
I hate that.
That's such a bad vibe.
See how it shows up? It's all so subtle
Nothing is negative until we state it to be so. People, places, situations, circumstances or things that were said. They are all neutral, until we define it as otherwise.
I see it with my client when we look at their weight for the week.
" I'm just not losing anything" even though they may have lost 4.5kg over the previous 4 weeks. But all they can see is what hasn't happened and what's wrong. And what do you think happens when they think that thought? They think there's a problem, so they send their brain searching for evidence that it's true, such as "well this isn't working, fuck it I'll eat a pastry". Which will of course reinforces the thought "it's not working with the result of not losing weight.
Scan for negativity in your life. You might be surprised what you find. Who do you want to be?
Do you want to focus on what you do want or what you don't want?
List 5 things you think are negative in your life.
What evidence do you have?
Now list evidence for the positivity, solution or alternative opinion about each of these situations. Off you go!