"Sometimes I look at my husband and think, you’re one lucky son of a bitch." Probably Lucille Ball In my coaching sessions this week guess what got the most air time? Merlot? Lindt Bunnies? Nope Men. Relationships came up this week for about 50% of clients.  So I thought I might share this session with you as it might be of use. One of my clients had made some key decisions for herself that had her best interest at heart. But she kept going back on what she had decided because it was making her husband annoyed. And she was really hurt and upset at him because it was holding her back. Her real objection was that she didn’t want to make her husband "feel" annoyed. So she wasn’t showing up for herself. So he wouldn’t get annoyed. And she was blaming him for not showing up for herself. So I asked her, so what? She was like….what? I said SO WHAT  if he is annoyed at you? Is it possible that you can just sit with his annoyance? Not fight or argue, not change him? Just sit? Have your own back? She seriously had not looked it at that way. You see what we forget, especially in adult relationships, is we can still do what we want. Even if it’s not ok with them. We can do what we want - that's the right we have as an adult. One of the biggest relationship killers I see is couples trying to manipulate each others emotions. Trying to make people happy or feel an emotion - whatever it is, is a kind of manipulation. And it never really works or lasts. And it feels awful. And it prevents you from showing up for yourself. Then it becomes a blame game. And everyone feels sh*t house. If you want something for yourself. Have your own back. It doesn’t have to be done with conflict. Quite the opposite. It's just a quiet adult way of taking responsibility for what you want. Making that stand for yourself and let other people feel the emotions they are going to feel anyway. I got a text from her yesterday, the conversation has really transformed her thinking, and she noted, interestingly "It feels like our relationship has just grown up." No surprise there. Stay safe - be good to each other - but  be yourself Thanks for reading. Maree Oh, and by the way......Struggle with willpower? Is that the core of your weight struggle? This week I'm opening up consult calls for anyone that struggles with willpower - and ill tell you something that will blow. your mind. If you would like to talk to me - this week specifically about willpower