Mid Life Initiation & Rites Of Passage

Thinking about Midlife as a Rite of Passage transformed my emotional experience on my own Midlife journey.

Pre-perimenopause, I believed I would sail through the process like a sailboat on a lake.

So when I found myself being sucked into a vortex of emotional turbulence, darkness, isolation and unexplained grief, I did not attribute it to anything to do with my life actually changing,

I just thought that all the situations and circumstances in my life were conspiring against me.

In white Western culture, we have been socialised to downplay the significant transitions a woman goes through during her perimenopausal menopausal phase.

Even the language available to describe what we are going through is significantly void of any real description or sensitivity to the process we are going through.

Women are shamed into talking about the experience at any level other than hot flushes, night sweats and a giggle about a piddle when we laugh.

But the truth is, the transition from our second age - the Mother phase in archetypal language, into our third age, the age of the Crone, is a most significant and final Rite Of Passage.

Seeing our transition as a Rite Of Passage means that we are reframing the experience to embrace the journey.

It allows us to find acceptance and open up to the process.

Rites Of Passage acknowledge the period of time when we shift from one group to another.

In broad terms, in our Midlife rite of Passage we are separating from one age bracket to another.

Western culture may discuss Rites of Passage, but in truth, it misses the important structure and function of true Rites of Passage.

A Rite of Passage is the process of being called away from something familiar to something unfamiliar and unknown.

It's like leaving the bank of the river to swim to another shore.

We go through uncertainty and resistance. The mid-current fear.

We feel the desire to turn back and the internal conflict to stay and weather the storm.

When we stay and weather the storm, we are in the realisation, this is the initiation.

This is where we do our work; this is where we transform.

I feel very strongly that as we get older, we are here to honour the process our life gives us to live.

Take a moment to think. Whatever situation is presenting to you right now, what can you see if you look at it through the lens of your Rite Of Passage, the lens of initiation?

The very thing you are facing will be the very thing you need to see.

St Kilda, Finger Tiles & a Magic Question

Hello lovely.

I’m back in Jan Juc, I’ve been renovating my apartment in St Kilda to sell.

It’s been a bittersweet experience.

At the start of the project, it was just about the sale.

But I’ve reconnected to the place and community that was my true spiritual home for more than 20 years.

Now I’m not sure I want to sell.

I am loving being in the space and hanging around old digs in Grey Street and Fitzroy Street.

The apartment is looking great - we have made a lot of changes including painting the whole thing, a new kitchen and looks like a new bathroom. Ho hum.

I am using an amazing terracotta finger tile ( below), and it looks awesome. ( Black under benches and white benches)

The apartment has a huge deck shared amongst the six apartments. And I’ve been gardening - in boxes rather than in beds as I do here at home, planting herbs and repotting plants.

I’ve also been playing lots of music from back in the day.

Linda and Vika Bull, Sade, Madonna and of course country.

It’s been great. Nostalgic.

I feel so connected to myself again.

In other news, I’ve been reading a good book on fasting - the one that Mel Robbins has also read and written about.

Fast Like a Girl: A Woman's Guide to Using the Healing Power of Fasting to Burn Fat, Boost Energy, and Balance Hormones Dr Mindy Pelz.

When I was away for 4 weeks, my perimenopausal body clamped on 8KG - how radical is that?

It’s evened up now but I’m still 5 kgs heavier than when I went away and 3 more from where I am comfortable.

I can tell you there has been a LOT of mind management about that.

Anyway, I digress. As you know I fast a lot - and enjoy the health and weight benefits it is known for.

HOWEVER, as my body continues its journey of change - and that one ovary of mine that won’t give up the ghost yet (Gyno’s exact words) I have struggled with fasting.

Thus, the reason why I picked up the book.

Fast Like a Girl: involves fasting in alignment with your cycle. It’s a much more intuitive way to do it, and research suggests it's much better for us. I’m still a work in progress because I won’t push my body too hard at the moment. She needs me to be kind to her.

But I’ll let you know how I go.

I also wanted to share this song with you. It’s Thelma Plumb: I’m not angry anymore - and I love singing to it at the top of my voice as I drive to St K and back.

The song resonates because I’ve known anger in my life.

On a final note. The most important thing I do in my practice is ask questions.

If you are interested in self-coaching, this is a good place to start.

Here is one for you to take into your week.

When you catch yourself feeling a negative or flat feeling - find out the thought you are thinking and ask:

Why am I choosing to think that?

Your brain is a ninja at answering it's own questions. It’s also a bullshit artist. So you can stay onto it by catching your thoughts at the emotional level and then questioning why.

Just don’t let the answer “I don’t know”, fool you. It always has an answer.

Big love. Maree

Ready to talk about how I can help you focus on the life you want and where you are blocked? Book a session with me and we'll chat about it.

fantasy - oh it works.

Our brain has trillions upon trillions of thoughts to think. So why do we limit ourselves to dull, repetitive, domestic, mission brown thoughts? Habit? Conditioning? Fear of disappointment? We do not have to be limited by our thinking. With our thoughts come our feelings and energy and the impetus to do things. Thoughts are the paint, the colour and the mood of our life. They say that our microbiome needs lots of food diversity to flourish. I say the same for our thoughts about our lives. We need good, juicy, productive, naughty, daring, bold and wild thoughts. Thoughts that keep our mental biome ravishing. When we think beige, we get beige. Here is my Tuesday offering. Lets have some playful thoughts. Fantasy You. Good morning, lover. Your eyes flutter. Open gently. ( No mascara glue.) You stretch luxuriate in the morning sun thats streams through your window/billowy sheers/treetops. Your morning is filled with gentle rituals, it's yoga, incense and oils. Mediation and insight. Downward dog, and flattering tights. Herbal tea in a pot. A fresh, short espresso in an Italian cup. Calm and Zen. But you work. You love work. Glide to your car. Birds sing louder as you pass. Dressed beautifully you breeze into your office/studio/artspace/foyer. Everyone is so glad you’re here. You have the answers, you are leader/ energy /the vibe. You hold court you hand out advice and direction like jewels from a pouch. The noters take note. You are good. As busy as you are. You always make time to Nurture Self.. At a small chic cafe/restaurant/spotonyourdesk you enjoy a light, refreshing lunch. A poke bowl/sashimi/reiki mushroom. Your slow, methodical, Ive got time on your hands chew. You are restored. (Poise, no scoffing and nothing in your teeth.) The second part of the day is conceptual/development/riffing Everyone waits your lead. Young things hang off the words you say. You are dazzling, purposeful, enigmatic and kind. (Yes very kind.) The evening sees you change. Change shoes, shake your hair out and relip Couture, simple, elegant and defiantly hard to get. Tonight you are speaking/showing/hosting. The room is full, the smell over overpriced Lillies drift past your nose. (Familiar, but always a delight.) You inspire/engage/glow. So easy. So arrived. You nod. At the applause. A glass of champagne. (Yes, one.) You say good night. And leave. Behind you a surging seas of sighing ohhhhs and ahhhhhs. Home. As you walk into your expansive apartment/beachouse/loft/countryhome. You greet your dogs/husband/wife/poolguy. Joy/appreciation/lust abounds. The night closes in as you remove your makeup with your expensive/organic/natural cleanser and you notice how dewey you look. After meditation/chanting/hearbaltea/ you pull back the fresh crisp terracotta/dusty pink/white sheets and snap off the light off with a contended/annticiatpoty/lusty sigh. Tweak that for yourself. Big Love Maree xx ;) Three days left to take me up on the free goal life chat ( usually 133.00) You are a story waiting to be read. Enter code: Mareespeople https://mareewhite.as.me/initial-goal-mapping-coaching