"Our relationship is stale."
It's very easy to make a statement like that.
Face it, who hasn't felt like their relationship has been more like week-old rye than a freshly baked baguette?
A relationship with a human, especially one you are close to, is neutral. It's not good or bad, and it's not fresh or stale.
A relationship with a human is made up of your thinking about that human. Nothing else.
The emotion - the freshness or the staleness comes from the way you think about that relationship.
The thought you have creates emotion. then the emotion occurs in your body as a feeling sensation. That feeling then directs your behaviour towards that person, affecting how you show up, act or behave. It affects what you do and don't do.
This combination of thought, emotion and behaviour creates the energetics of your relationship, the atmosphere of your relationship if you like.
Your thoughts, feeling and behaviours give you the result, the experience of your relationship.
A relationship is made up of two people having thoughts about each other, which create feelings, which informs the behaviour which creates the experience you both have.
This concept can initially feel disempowering because it means that we are to "blame" if we feel stale.
Emotional adulthood is owning the fact our emotions come from our thinking - which on some days means we have to give up blame, anger, resentment, feeling victimised, etc.
And that's no fun, right?
When you decide to own how you feel - you get your power back.
When you decide to choose the quality of your thinking based on the quality of emotion you want to feel, you have all the power.
All relationships go through peaks and troughs, but the biggest killer I see is when one or both people in the relationship blames the other for how they feel. It's common, but it's the killer.
Some of the more unattractive and destructive habits in a relationship come from thinking someone should behave in a certain way.
Think about how you act when you feel needy, dependant, grapsy and whingey?
That energy pushes away the energy that you actually want.
There is so much to explore here - let me know if you want more info on the way I teach and coach on relationships.
Change your life for good!
Happy Tuesday, you big spunk.
If you think, "this relationship is stale," you are the one that feels the emotion sad, let down, angry, frustrated or whatever it makes you feel.
You suffer. You have that feeling in your body, creating your atmosphere.